What Would Twitter Do? A Conversation with Kristen Arnett and Morgan Parker

This conversation took place live on Twitter on March 24, 2020, hosted by the Beverly Rogers, Carol C. Harter Black Mountain Institute at UNLV, the home of The Believer. Inspired by Sheila Heti’s erstwhile column—and curious about Twitter as a site for literary innovation—we asked two Twitter heroes to talk about how they make art and life on the platform. Kristen Arnett is the New York Times best-selling author of Mostly Dead Things. She’s a queer fiction and essay writer, a columnist for Lit Hub, a self-proclaimed “7-Elesbian,” and most recently a Lambda Literary Award finalist. She is currently a Shearing Fellow at the Black Mountain Institute. Morgan Parker is a poet, essayist, and novelist. She is the author of the poetry collection Magical Negro, most recently a winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Poetry. This is an unedited log of the exchange between these two “rowdy and genius” minds. Simultaneous threads are written within stars. — Lille Allen

“I am a top and the only time I am a bottom is for writing.” —Kristen Arnett

BLACK MOUNTAIN INSTITUTE: Welcome to “What Would Twitter Do?,” a conversation with Kristen Arnett and Morgan Parker on their online personas, their writing, and navigating the part-time hellscape part-time virtual pizza party that is Twitter dot com. Kristen and Morgan, over to you!

KRISTEN ARNETT: Thank you so much!!!! I am thrilled to be here with Morgan, though I wish she were here so we could just drink in person.

MORGAN PARKER: KRISTEN I MISS YOU.

KA: I MISS YOU TOO.

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MP: Ps. Even though we’re not drunk together I still feel like it’s just us doing Michael Scott-esque improv.

KA: oh CHRIST it’s true.

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KA: How are you holding up, how is Shirley the dog?

MP: Honestly she’s great, I was just thinking about how I want to get a little outdoor couch so we can cuddle on the patio. I have been talking to her … probably too much. It’s good there’s a person in the mix at your house.

KA: Sincerely – who could have guessed I would finally get a girlfriend right before I would need to be quarantined???? If I were living alone I would absolutely have scurvy.

What are you eating right now? I heard Tommy Pico (@heyteebs) saw you buying flowers and wine at the grocery store lmao.

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MP: Like am I even tweeting right lol.

BMI: (YOU ARE!)

KA: I NEVER am.

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