SIMON RICH: Thanks for agreeing to this interview, Simon.

SIMON RICH: Hey, my pleasure!

SR: Did the editors tell you what they wanted us to talk about?

SR: Yes, they said they wanted my opinion on “fiction’s relevance in contemporary society.” Pretty cool subject!

SR: Yeah, and we’ll get to it. First, though, there’s a rumor that needs to be addressed. Is it true that you recently beat your older brother at basketball for the first time ever?

SR: [Laughs] That just happened, in fact. Like an hour ago.

SR: That’s incredible.

SR: Yeah, it was pretty cool. But we probably shouldn’t talk about it here. I mean, the Believer’s a literary magazine.

SR: What was the score?

SR: It was pretty close: eleven to six.

SR: That doesn’t sound very close to me. I mean, you nearly doubled his score. That’s the equivalent of winning an NBA game by two hundred to one hundred, something that’s never been done before in the history of the league.

SR: I guess, when you put it that way, it was a pretty decisive win.

SR: You embarrassed him.

SR: [Laughs] If you say so! Listen, we should probably get this interview back on track. The editors were pretty insistent we keep to the subject.

SR: Before the game started, do you remember your brother saying anything to you? Any comments?

SR: Well, yeah, now that you mention it, he did say a couple things.

SR: Such as?

SR: Well, I remember he said, “You’re going down,” or “Get ready to go down.” Something like that.

SR: Huh. That’s interesting. So he assumed that he was going to win the basketball game.

SR: Yes.

SR: And, remind me, who did in fact win the game? Was it you or was it him?

SR: It was me.

SR: By a score of…?

SR: Eleven to six.

SR: So his prediction that you would “go down” turned out to be inaccurate: the childlike ravings of a fool.

SR: I guess. Look, it was just one game. He’s been beating me consistently for years. When I was in third grade and he was in seventh, he’d spot me ten points and still end up winning every time. Sometimes he’d take every shot left-handed, just to humiliate me.

SR: And now he is the one who’s been humiliated. Quite a reversal.

SR: It was just a friendly game.

SR: I understand there was some controversy over the score?

SR: It wasn’t a big deal. At one point, I was winning nine to five and he thought he had scored six.

SR: Are you embarrassed that your brother felt the...